Taking a shit

Alarm went off at 3:50am and my first thought was that it was some kind of mistake. I actually felt relief a moment after the horror of the buzzer as something reassured me that I could certainly go back to sleep. I 'came to' a short while later and realized this to be false.

I went to bed about 1:30, in my clothes. Somewhat out of the ordinary night at the bar, slower then usual and only friends/locals. I blew off one female to work on a prospect there which was a bust. At 1:30pm I was growing bored with the whole scene. I checked my appearance in the large Jameson mirror I often use for such purposes and ate a T3. I slept well. "Don't sleep long...sleep well".

It was black as my dad drove me to the airport. It was around then that I realized that my stomach felt like it has been treated like a sandtrap at a well manicured country club. Raked to perfection, I could feel the grooves the rusted old implement had cut across the mucous enforced lining. Or maybe that was just the Jameson.

I think that it takes just as long to engage a hangover as it does to remove one. So it wasn't until around the time I sat down on the plane that I really started to feel like shit. I grabbed a sandwich and a Lemon Snapple right before I got on the plane and consumed both in one long breath as soon as I sat down while others boarded. Cost me about $11 for that 'meal' as well. Nice.

Everyone on the plane immediately fell asleep. Ironically I was likely in worse shape then any of them but I could not sleep. My legs felt like stilts, I could not possibly get comfortable and I started to notice a large mass in my stomach. Not the sandwich....probably a femented hunk of red beans swimming in a crock of Irish whiskey and Heiniken. Not an upset stomach, not any kind of liquid excrement on deck, nothing like that. Just had to take a shit.

I'm not one that believes in 'home field advantage' or anything like that, but the airplane was dark and I was the 3rd passenger on my half of the row, at the window. Bordered by a young couple (the girl accidentally [?] whipped me with her hair twice, at flight's beginning and end) they were unconscious and I just didn't have it in me to wake them. I had empathy for their plight, certainly tired they were able to achieve sleep while I could not. I read a few lines from 'Neuromancer' on my Kindle (stole/converted from PDF the night before I left).

I slept a total of about an hour actually, total, over the approximately 160 minute flight. I fell into a deeper sleep just before touchdown, of course. An alternately sleep/wakened state I spent entertaining myself (yet barely aroused) concoting things to do with the prospects in the system and those that have gotten sent down to the minor leagues already. I wanted to scream as the passengers slowly left the aircraft, I grabbed my bags and set out for a toilet.

The first I found had only 2 stalls and a line waiting to get in either. I said no thanks to that...moved on. Found another a short while later, the situation was worse, longer line. I waited outside, with that familiar rake running through my scalp. When I made my move back in I removed a single log so large that it folded in half. I almost laughed at myself as I walked out, with clean hands and a face soaked in cold water...I felt quite good. The humor came from the fact that 'oh yeah...I slept about 3 hours total at this point and I'm still wearing the clothes I put on at 9pm last night'.

I located a large bottle of Smart Water ($5) and WiFi (same cost) so that I've wasted over $20 on nothing and still have not arrived at my destination. I'm still trying to conquer the CPU performance issues on my new laptop battery so I'm ACd up right now, sitting on the floor with my bags around me like a wall. iPod in my ears listening to Prof. I can smell food all around, it smells good but I'm not that hungry and I refuse to eat again anyways with the dough I've already wasted. I'm wearing an Adidas track suit and no drawers or shirt, just shoes and socks. I feel a bit overheated from the toxins in my system so I can conveniently unzipper the top part way to reveal my pale nearly hairless chest.

Seem to have the laptop battery CPU issue under control but the ongoing bullshit of the rechargables for my digital camera are not, so you only get one pic this time, as I actually had to take it using AC power.


First thing to figure out in Orlando will be finding bus 111 to take me down Westwood Blvd. towards my place, and I'll still have to walk '.85 mi' after that toting my sacks of (apparently) bricks.  No rest for the wicked - I need food and lots of it, I'm famished now and will be worse then.  Must be a 2 mile round trip via foot to Publix, no busses on Central Florida Pkwy.  Need to catch some Zs and locate liquor as well before Breaking Bad comes on at 10, caught up on the last episode in the nick of time last night before I left this AM.