Wednesday, September 21, 2011

17 mile bike ride video

My camera mount only cost like $3 with free shipping, its pretty chintzy but there is one major flaw which I did not understand but now do and can correct, apologies for the shakiness as a result, I had to ditch some footage because it was just too annoying to watch. My GPS battery went dead (that mount was nice but also required modification) a mile or two before my destination.

Fat Boys BBQ was pretty awesome. Service was top notch, I had all you can eat chicken. They just keep on bringing you meat and sides until you give up. I had 7 pieces of chicken and doubled up on all my sides (BBQ beans, green beans), also had a baked sweet potato and an order of fries. And 4 pieces of garlic bread. Their sauce was pretty good however they pointed out that one was sweet and one was 'regular'. Both were very sweet, the regular however was actually quite fruity, I swear they had a raspberry component in there. But no hate here - I have been using guava paste and raspberry jam in my own sauce for years. I was becoming tempted to ask for some hot sauce however, no heat to speak of. Chicken was very good, excellent smoke flavor. The ride back was a bit harsh, the heat started really getting to me. I drank nearly 2 liters of water all told, my energy was good but I was sweating so damn much, the sun was really beating down. The bike is designed in an attempt at super ergonomics and I felt it was odd if you tried to pedal aggressively at all, standing up and pedaling is totally impossible and pulling up the handlebars to go off a curb is as well. Next time I'll get the road bike for sure. The guys were super cool and gave me a bunch of 10% off business cards. I looked at the Cannondale road bike they rent, its $1300 retail and weighs only 21oz!

I protected my neck and bald head with bandanas to good results but I lobstered my arms badly. I am actually going to have to lie in the sun tomorrow for a short period to attempt to even out a little, even got a hint of raccoon style on my face from sunglasses, I'm such an asshole.

Bought alkalines assuming my rechargeables would deny me again, of course today they recorded like 25 minutes of video plus pics and are still running, makes no sense.

On my second beer now, video is edited, rendered and converted to FLV, uploading now. 8% uploaded, as soon as its done I am going downstairs to chill in the hottub and/or bar. Did a bunch of laundry, last bits are drying now. What a day.



Oh, another good story. First of all, today really drove home a point I already realized: Central Florida is full of the ugliest people on the planet. I hate ugly people, men or women. Don't want to be around them. Look at them. Anything. It's such an old stereotype but so true, you cannot believe the amount of fanny packs you see around here. I would rather put my wallet and keys in my urethra then in a fanny pack.

This fact is compounded by the variety of obscure races and nationalities all around you here. I'm not racist, I don't care where you're from but it would indeed seem that many nationalities are naturally fucking ugly. Large Brazillian contingent around here. Came across some other people speaking languages that I do not recognize at all, and I'm from Chicago and I've been to New York and I'm worldly enough to know. Who are these people?

Anyways so I was sitting waiting for the 56 bus to take me to Celebration surrounded by ugly people (to prove I'm not racist: most of them were white. Americans are by far the ugliest people of all). The clothing choices - and then setting off those choices with a fanny pack, often leather - is shocking even after days of it. Another bus pulled up (this is a 'Super Stop', its full of Disney and Lynx buses, constantly arriving and departing). Two girls jumped off the bus and sat down at the table I was at. One of them sat down so close to me I almost jumped. Both of them were very attractive, I'm torn if they were German or Swedes. The one who was not sitting right next to me looked like a supermodel and put on a pair of sunglasses that had to be 5" in diameter for each lens. Ridicolous.

So the one that is sitting next to me was very close, of course I'm not going to let her get away with that. She did actually look worn out from the sun, I didn't realize at this point she was foreign but I could tell she was not from Florida. I said something like 'is the heat beating you down?' and she looked at me puzzled like a puppy who has shit on the rug when you reprimand him. I actually got scared, I did not want to waste this opportunity. My mind raced so I just motioned to the world in general and said 'Hot'. This she understood - she nodded her head and said 'yes, yes, hot'. She was yammering in her language to her friend (who was very standoffish, as you should be in super diameter sunglasses) and I asked if they were German. She said no. I started to run through all my other guesses and some douche bag tried to cut in on my action. One of his guesses (after I had already asked about Holland, Sweden and Norway) was 'Scandinavian'. Indeed - and I am a North American. Fucking idiot.

So I'm trying to tolerate this guy and work these girls at the same time, and the bus could arrive at any moment. She got my attention and pointed to a carving on the table (I photo'd it in the previous post) and asked if I had written it (she was kidding). I said no, I am not Russian (what it looked like to me). She laughed and agreed it was indeed Russian and made some broken comment about Russian (or Russians) being 'bad'. I laughed and agreed (Commie bastards!).

About this time another guy who was sitting on a bench about 6' away says slowly in a syrupy drawl 'how y'all doing?' to the girls. All three of us laughed immediately. First of all, you don't hit on girls from a distance of 6'. Second of all, his drawl was awful and definitely laughable. He was also probably 50 (the girls were younger than me). They amped up their foreign language yammering and were laughing at this guy, I was too. At one point I playfully poked the arm of the girl sitting next to me and said 'what are you laughing at?', we both knew and she laughed even harder. The guy actually got up and walked away, mission aborted.

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