Karaoke: Completed

Strolled in about 8:50, perfectly punctual. The crowd was very thin compared to the same time on Tuesday ironically. Scanned the place for Nina and saw she was not present, got a Jameson and sat down at a table. Realized this limited my options for making new friends so I moved to the bar. Made an interesting friend real quick.

Cute girl to my right, felt her scanning me. Threw her a smile and we were introduced quickly. Saw two other males on the other side of her and tried to deduce her situation. I guess Jenny was drunk but I was unclear on to what extent, she began to playfully argue with me but like her state of intoxication the line between playful and downright belligerent was blurred. I started to reel it in because it is poor form to overwork a prospect while you're waiting for another girl. Also something about this one was setting off my Spidey Sense and I wasn't sure what. She introduced me to 'Dave' and 'Mike'. Why is a 30 something attractive girl traveling with two guys, both of which are in their 50s? I'm still unclear but the story continues.

I was just beginning to wonder if maybe I didn't remember what Nina looked like or something and she really was here. I did spot a very attractive girl with a few tattoos at the bar, I would be lucky enough to meet her later. Nina walked in a short time later. Looked fabulous again and I shook my head in disappointment at myself for thinking I could forget what this girl looked like. What a beauty. She went to get a drink and was chatting with the bartenders and she motioned for me to sit with two others already seated at a table towards the front. I waited for her and we went over, I met Shawn and Misty. Misty has a set of the most perfect breasts I've come across in recent memory, perfect blonde hair and hypnotizing eyes of grey/blue that are identifiable even from a distance. Shawn - later identified as her husband - has a Bic'd head and intense build. Combination of good looks and ass kicking power to bounce at a high profile club downtown (Chicago). At least that is what I would do if I was him. Would you believe this couple is an out of control singing duo as well? Well they are.

Next up was the tattooed girl at the bar. She came over to say hello to Nina then ended up sitting down. Heather has perfect skin and much of it is showing, tight jeans and a shy smile. She sat next to me and was playing the part of the out of towner, I could sense her quietness. I had to get out of the way for her to get it as seating was cramped and I parlayed this into a joke, she scoffed humorously at my politeness. Nina was absorbed in conversation with Misty so I worked hard to keep a conversation going to continue to integrate myself into the group and of course for the pure enjoyment of the company of yet another beautiful girl.

Karaoke began and I sang 'Does Anybody Really Know What Time it Is?' to some success, while Shawn was tackling obscure Journey tunes and everyone at the table was knocking out technical tracks with ease. Found another point to open on with Heather as she admitted she did not sing and was opposed to the idea, again too shy. Around this time I began to monitor Nina's mannerisms, she was still absorbed in conversation with Misty and Shawn and I could tell she was hardly aware I was there. I had half a thought I would get to chat one-on-one with her tonite as we did Tuesday but I realized that was out and she was likely not interested. I got comfortable and set out to enjoy the night with my ever expanding group of new friends.

More songs were sung all around - I got Nina to record me doing what I realize now is a quite out of tune version of 'After the Lovin'. Per my usual performance of that song I looked for a female close enough to engage visually and began to sing the song directly to her. A group of UK tourists was seated near the stage, with a single female, she smiled and enjoyed my small serenade. However for the final drawn out chorus I quickly turned like a gun turret towards one of her male comrades - much to the chagrin of both.

The table expanded like a Yorkshire pudding: Dave, at least 6'6 with a 10 gallon hat. Tito, hispanic with a fedora and all around nice gear. Mike, a pretty basic looking guy who probably looked older and more worn out then he actually had years. Nina actually asked me to switch seats with him and they had an upclose and personal conversation. I was getting boxed out all around, the table was getting too crowded and now I was sitting on the fringes. The girl I came to see had me play musical chairs to talk to some other guy and Heather had up and left with half a pitcher of beer sitting on the table and never returned. Confidence was taking a beating at this point so I quickly went to refuel with more whiskey.

There had been another singer announced as 'from Chicago'. Randy was in town on business and had been here many times before. He recognized many of the crew at my table and was idenfiying the good singers (his own aptitude was high). But the interesting thing is that like magnets, we had been drawn to each other not for gay attraction but for the fact that we are both predators of women and were there for that reason. I do not recall how the subject was broached but we both were soon talking in rapid fire pieces of recon regarding every girl in the room, our pupils perhaps dilated with the thrill of the hunt. I admitted that my situation was quickly disintegrating and he commented that at least I was meeting such a large group. I offered to buy a round of drinks and he accepted. I ordered another Heiniken for myself and two shots of Jameson. The bill: $19! The 'shots' were poured in rocks glasses sans ice and had to be nearly 2oz each. This got my engine started and we continued our sickening conversation when Nina came up to get a drink (Randy was seated next to a break in the bar where it was easy to get drinks). She seemed a bit more lubricated by the drinks now and sarcastically asked why I had deserted the table. I said that it seemed we had simply run out of room and she verbally worked me over in response, saying that if I wanted to integrate myself into their group and come back next year and sing with them again I should find room or make my own and integrate myself more deeply. If she only knew I had been tabulating names and sizing up every member of the group for hours. I followed her back and seated myself between her and Sophia, another new addition which Randy had already identified as another pro-level singer. A short time later Nina told me that Sophia had talked her into doing a song she did not feel comfortable with and that Sophia was going to sing harmony. The song was 'Alone' by Heart and of course they dominated it. And of course modest as Nina is, she cut down her own performance and said it was too challenging and she should not have sang it.

More new additions: met Jacob (who Nina initially mentioned "Who is that?" and Sophia said that he was a friend) and Rocky, a dark skinned Central or South American likely with intricate lines cut into his hair and sideburns. I had already planned to ditch the last bust at 11:50 PM and take a cab home at 2am close. Randy had already voluenteered to give me a ride and I thanked him profusely. So I bided my time, I had already sang 3 songs and the rotation now was over an hour long so I didn't bother with a fourth.

I must admit at this time I just felt plain homesick. As a game I would silently go around the table, counter-clockwise and repeat everyone's name mentally to test myself. Randy drew me aside and explained he had a prospect of his own: approx. 50 year old mixed Puerto Rican/French Canadian. Attactive and according to Randy - rich. He said he might have to leave but he would come back for me. I ran through the possibility of walking home 4 miles and some combination of the booze and everything else became overwhelming, I was ready to go now and considered quietly walking away. But besides the fact that they had been so nice to me I did not want to miss the opportunity to say goodbye to every person at that table and address each with their own names.

I got up to use the bathroom and opened the door, it was a 'one man' bathroom though it had both urinal and toilet so that two people could share if one felt comfortable enough to leave the door unlocked. We use the same system at the bar at home so I knew the deal. I walked in and approached the toilet and the guy at the urinal - who never looked up, mind you - commented 'nice singing up there'. I thanked him and he walked out. It struck me then that if he had looked up it was so quick it is amazing he could identify me. Then I realized this was Mike - one of Jenny's friends who I now identify as some kind of pimp. She had approached me and chatted me up before I hardly knew she was there. I am good looking but not that good looking. I do believe now that it is possible she is some kind of prostitute.

Someone on stage was tackling 'Wicked Game' by Chris Issak. I cannot remember how or why Jacob decided to talk to me though now sober I realize it is indeed because he is a spaz. He actually pulled me outside so that he could play me the version of the song by the band HIM. He played it through his iPhone and it did actually sound like a good rendition though I must admit while I was familiar I had never actually heard the band HIM before at all. Then with a preamble of 'check this one out!' he played me George Michael's 'Careless Whisper' by Seether. This was also well done and I told him so. I don't remember how we changed lanes conversationally so quickly but he told me then about how his brother worked at or managed a strip club and how breasts do not phase him. Only the sight of a vagina or a women's rear titillate him. I said well yes, you must be jaded to the sight of them and he loudly agreed. I could tolerate all this but his face was the face of a 'spaz'. I realize that term is outdated but I do still feel it is relevant. Nice guy, but a dork.

I returned to the table and before long Randy returned - he had crapped out on his prospect though he had exchanged info to link up at a later date. I told him I needed 5 minutes and he silently nodded and walked to his car. And I went around this giant combination of two tables, not attached, all filled with the same related group. Counter-clockwise and I had practiced.

Sophia, Dave, Tito (and his girlfriend who I had not been introduced to, but was now. Dolores, who had just graduated from college, I congratulated her and she smiled silently). Next was Mike, then Misty and Shawn. Misty was so warm even now, what a beautiful girl. Rocky was second to last and gave me the reaction that explains why I make it a point to remember names. When I said 'Take it easy Rocky, nice to meet you', his eyes lit up and he got out of his chair. He was incredulous that I had remembered his name.

Last up was Nina, how fitting. I thanked her so much for her awesome hospitality and told her how glad I was that we had met. As I left I told her to be well and not to change, that she was already perfect. She smiled and I waved goodbye.

Randy and I discussed the finer points of chasing girls as we cruised down I-Drive in his rented convertible. I remember when we were inside I told him that I could tell that like me he did not have eyes, he too was equipped with a set of laser beams that tune in on females. He told me something I'll never forget. He made reference to the (really lame) song 'Strokin' by Billy Squire. He said his version of it is 'Scopin' and he sang a stanza from the tune with the lyrical substitution. Laser beams, indeed.

I had him drop me off at CVS where I grabbed a frozen pizza and walked home. I put on 'The Evil that Men Do' and coated the cooked 'za with hot sauce and consumed it with one final beer. The reflection was almost painful, I longed for home at that point. Made me want to hug my own friends who back in my jungle are so far away.

Karaoke: Case the Joint

So I walked into O'Shucks tonite to see what was going on over there. The competition was fierce: all real deal, legitimate singers. Sound quality was perfect, a giant monitor 2' away on the stage provided excellent audio to the performer.

I walked in and ordered a drink: out of Jameson (arghhh) I settled for a Johnny Red (rocks). I put in the slip for my first song ('September Morn') and took a seat, wearing a smile, looking for my 'in'. There were more then a few single girls walking in and rather then keep my eyes on them, I monitored for other hunters like myself zeroing in. I saw nothing.

I already figured that my best 'in' would be at the end of a song (my own or someone elses), it is standard karaoke manners to congratulate ('nice job') the person walking off stage. I knew I could very quickly parlay this into an introduction. I got my chance as soon as I finished my first song and met a couple: Christina and 'Pushy'. They introduced me to their friend, a young lady named Nina. I had just watched her sing 'Before he Cheats' by Carrie Underwood and her skills were blatant, she toyed with the song, made it her own, embellished it. I'm talking about vibrato that was obscene. Equally as important, she was a 10, easy. Brunette, light American Indian features, super tight jeans, slim, and a purple flannel shirt cinched at the waist and unbuttoned up top with perfect cleavage that revealed itself occasionally. There is no sense in working too hard on a girl like this, either you have no chance or if you do, making steps towards it will always backfire. Just be polite, smile and see what happens.

I pulled up a chair a bit awkwardly into their group, as I now knew their names and I could tell they were regulars I wanted to continue to build our relationship. That sounds silly, I'm not talking about marrying a bunch of strangers but this is how you succeed in far away social situations. I started to feel a bit boxed out and was having trouble entering into their conversation. I especially wanted to engage Nina but could barely get a word in. No problem, relax, smile and bide your time.

The night progressed and before long she was engaging me unsolicited. Getting positive response I returned and carefully measured my responses but stayed relaxed and natural. Before long I told this girl that the bar was full of a bunch of idiots: I could see plenty of guys alone, sitting at the bar, staring into their pint while she (and others) was sitting alone and easily the best looking girl in the room. She said that she had been told that she was 'unapproachable'. I said whoever told you that is a liar, and that I didn't care even if it was the case, I don't take face value negative response to heart, I need a verbal 'no' to back off. I could actually see other males sitting alone, doing nothing, making no effort to engage females and I'm sitting here, first time, out of town, been here 45 minutes and I'm all alone with the most stunning girl in the place.

Eventually Christina and Pushy left. I swapped seats so I was sitting next to her and we talked and talked about our backgrounds. She is from Pennsylvania but has lived in Orlando for three years. She has been a professional singer in resturants, on cruise ships and is currently in a gigging band. She was an understudy for the part of Mimi in 'Rent' and got her shot at two nights in Chicago when the star lost her voice.

I asked if she planned to come back at all during the week to sing again. She told me blatantly that I should just demand that she come back on a certain night. Yes friends, that is 'positive response' as I define it. I'll be back at 9pm on Thursday and just before I left I asked if she knew 'You Don't Bring Me Flowers', the duet by Neil Diamond and Barbra Streisand. I've wanted desperately to sing this with a female for ages but obviously Babs part is difficult (Neil's is notoriously easy and perfectly within my wheelhouse). I do want to sing with her, and I want to sing a romantic song such as this with her. And I want an excuse to video the performance to prove that I was able to engage such a specimen of physical beauty, worldliness and ability as a performer. She said she didn't know it. My heart sank. She asked if she should learn it before Thursday and I said yes. This should be interesting.

I had Nina video me doing 'And When I Die' but of course the fucking batteries died, even though they were charged and I had taken a total of 1 picture so far (below). I'll be picking up some alkalines today, this is getting out of hand. Worse yet, I could see her off stage trying to get the thing to work and I didn't understand what was wrong, she said she felt terrible that it didn't record and was worried that she somehow broke it. Plus when it died, the lens was extended so I had to have it in my pocket like that all night. Piece of shit batteries.

Karaoke

So one of my biggest plans this year was to go to some local bars. Then I figured that since I enjoy karaoke I would test myself to see if I could hold my own in another state, when I had no friends around. I'm confident, so I started to look into places in town.

I came across this place first. Their website has some conflicting information; in some places it says Wednesday and others it says Thursday. I called numerous times today to get a clarification - no one answered! So I emailed, no response. I finally did get through and they said Wednesday.

Part of the deal on this was that since I was thinking about renting a bike, I thought maybe I would ride their and get a hotel. But its 20 miles which is a bit far. I could handle that, but it is also 8 more miles from the bike shop. 30 miles in a day is pushing it, I might be a bit beat down. Combined with the bad service I was receiving (the girl was a bit terse on the phone as well) I decided to look elsewhere.

I was starting to wonder about renting a bike at all, if I wanted to bother. Then I found a place so perfect I don't know how it didn't come up weeks ago in my initial searches. They have karaoke EVERY NIGHT which is unreal and it's only 4 miles away, link 42 will take me right there! My plan is to go once before the weekend then again on Friday and/or Saturday and if I close the bar on one of those nights I can take a cab for cheap since its so close. The DJ has her own website (excellent) and a periphery check of her list (over 12,000 songs!!!) has all my standards. I'm going to kill it up there! Lets see how many friends I can make.